The ghosts in my apartment must have very clean mouths…

Wish you were here, love Mouthwash

One of my roommates and I have run into bit of a situation at our apartment. He has a bottle of mouthwash that he uses. I, like the clean person I am, do not usually use mouthwash. The funny thing is that even if no one is in the apartment but him and I, the mouthwash level seems to drop substantially in-between his swishings, and the cap is on all funny. This has happened about 3-4 times now in the past months.

So we have come to a few conclusions:

1) Either he or I are avid sleepwalkers that like to mouthwash in the middle of the night...because the battle against plaque just can't wait until the morning.

2) Either he or I keep coming home drunk, and use the mouthwash without remembering. However, usually this would also include many Johnny Rockets burger bags laying around the apartment, and we haven't seen many of those around lately.

3) Our landlord is coming into our apartment, and instead of stealing our valuables or surfing porn on our internet, he has decided to focus his attention on the mouthwash.

4) There are ghosts in our apartment that have really clean gums

5) Evaporation is a bitch, and is apparently quite powerful in our bathroom.

6) He is a dirty liar and is just messing with me..although that seems like a highly inefficient way for him to get me to buy him more mouthwash.

We have yet to come to a final conclusion, but I am sure after the apartment "mock trial" that we plan to organize for tomorrow night, which will include testimony from him and I, the stuffed animals that were in the apartment during the past month, and any fresh yeast or moldy cheeses in the fridge...we will have a verdict.