"Hi, I'm in Delaware."

dude, where’s my band?

...actually Wayne and Garth, it was Connecticut this weekend for us. If you ever get a chance to go, Bridgeport, CT is awesome. PaperDoll was invited to do a TV shoot and radio interview up there this Saturday, and they might as well put up a sign that says, “Bridgeport, Connecticut: CLOSED.” This place was like a ghost town at 1pm in the afternoon on a Saturday. And not that we would have liked to have seen more, but the most police activity we saw were two “sheriffs” eating Subway Roast Beef subs (which, by the way, were the sandwich of the day at this particular Subway franchise - only $2.99) and drinking iced tea. They might have been at the Dunkin’ Doughnuts across the street, but like the rest of the town, it was closed.


When we shot “Can You See Me,” we unveiled the green screen behind the curtain, got all dressed in green clothes, and made it looked like no one was playing these instruments that were mysteriously flying around. Just kidding…it was freakin’ Public Access, not Spielberg/Lucas and Industrial Light & Magic.

However, we did have a blast shooting the TV segment and the radio interview. Rich Kaminsky, the interviewer for both the TV and the radio, was a great guy. He seemed to genuinely like our music, as did the crew, and a bunch of other people who were working or hanging around the station that wandered in to watch after we started. We had a good ole’ time performing, and talking about our music and influences, which included not only playing the songs off our EP, but also songs off our own iPods to hear those influences. Mimicking his own identity, Patrick chose a mysterious and dangerous Franz Ferdinand song, Teresa put us to sleep with some Tori Amos, I provided the NC-17 rating with “Apache Rose Peacock” by the Red Hot Chile Peppers, and Chip played “Houses of the Holy” by Led Zeppelin. We spent the next 20 minutes talking to Chip about his time in Vietnam, and how he deals with his ongoing battle with shell shock.



Part of the interview went something like this:

Rich: “Teresa, the song ‘Be Alright’…what is it about?”
Teresa: “Well, its primarily a song about the sketchy and sleazy aspects of the bar scene. How guys come up to you and try to use ridiculous pickup lines or try to sound suave. Basically, it’s about the hilarity of that whole scene.
Rich: “So Chip, Patrick, and Jack. How does this make you feel, playing a song regarding these sort of situations?”
Jack: “Well, it defiantly gives you a different perspective on what women think is charming and what is unsettling.”
Rich: “As in, how sketchy the bar scene is and that maybe guys should try another more productive method, and not be so sketchy and sleazy?"
Jack: “No, now we have a better perspective on what lines will actually work.”



The TV and Radio spots will be airing multiple times next week. When we find out the exact dates and times, we will let you all know…probably through a witty and amusing email. Special thanks to Rich Kaminsky and the rest of the CT crew. For being so hospitable, don’t be surprised if you find a few autographed PaperDoll thongs heading your way from us, with love.

I'm ready for my clothes off, Mr. DeMille.

Seriously, get the hell out of my garden.

I got my Hudson County voter identification card in the mail today. It reads:

JACK H. KOCK

At least SOME people are starting to take my porn career seriously.

Snow, snow, snow

So, this morning, I was walking behind this little girl and her mom on their way to school. The girl was 7-ish, bundled up, wearing shiney black snow boots, carefully avoiding ice-patches and yellow snow. All of a sudden she bolts to a storefront window and screams "Mom! Look! SNOW!"...The store had decorated their window with fake frost and real-looking mounds of "snow".

Moral of the story: Kids are stupid and should get out of my way when I'm trying to get somewhere.

How much do I owe you, Mick?

Maybe I should get kneepads like this dude. He looks quite fetching.

You know, I really wish the stages we played on were smooth and silky, perhaps carved from a nice finished maple or a lacquered oak parquet-style...like my elementary school gym floor. I find that many times during a performance, practice, or even walking down the street on a random Tuesday afternoon, I have the urge to do a few “Michael J. Fox while playing Johnny B. Goode in Back to the Future” slides on my knees across the floor. Unfortunately the club stages we play on resemble sandpaper, or that weird fake plastic grass people put on their patio’s to go along with their lawn gnomes and pinwheels. Furthermore, while dancing drunk like an idiot on New Years I did one of those slides across what I thought was a smooth floor and ended up tearing my suit pants. Tragic…yes. Worth it…totally. Plus, now I have a “fun” suit that I don’t have to worry about ruining when wear it out to the 80’s Miami Vice clubs I so frequently attend. Unfortunately I don’t have an endless supply of suits, or an endless supply of 80’s clubs around. So it seems eventually I have to stop both habits soon.

I heard Mick Jagger tours with a specially crafted personal exotic-wooden dance floor for the stage that they piece together before every show, about 15’x15’, that he, and only he is allowed to stand or walk on. Other band members, roadies, and misc. personnel get fined if they walk on it.

In light of this, I have readjusted PaperDoll’s priorities accordingly for the most direct route to success:

Priority #1: sell 1 million records.
Priority #2: buy smooth & silky 15’x15’ exotic-wood stage floor for Jack.

Tsunami Benefit

Chip - sorry to hear about loosing the wallet. Thanks for your phone btw - it works great.

I learned a lot trecking to the Tsunami Benefit through the blizzard of '05 on Saturday night.

1. Water-proof mascara does not = blizzard-proof mascara. After walking two blocks to the subway, I had mascara frozen – FROZEN- to my face. I had to scrape it off with my nails and a wet napkin while trying to find my reflection on the subway windows.
2. Patrick walks faster carrying a guitar in the snow than I do carrying nothing.
3. Patrick thinks throwing snowballs at me while I'm blinded by frozen mascara which had forced my eyelids closed is funny.
4. I do not.
5. People put SHOES on their Dogs!

And of course, the show went well!

...as long as I get to be Encyclopedia Brown. You can be Sally Kimball.

Can the secret weapon in Idaville’s war on crime really be a ten-year-old boy in sneakers?

So Chip calls me up this morning and tells me about how he lost his wallet last night. I don't remember exactly how he said he lost it, but I was pretty tired, so it could have been anything from frolicking through the late night snow with wild sea-nymphs, or making snow angels with the local church choir.

In any case, he calls me up again about 2 hours later to tell me about something else, but then mentions that he is talking to me while looking for his wallet in the middle of the street. There are three things about this that made me laugh so hard that hot tea came out my nose (which would have been funnier to me with milk, but all the milk in my fridge is past the expiration date…so it just kinda hurt). I felt bad about laughing since losing your wallet is really awful…but nonetheless:

#1. Knowing what we all know about the kind and compassionate people of NYC, would a wallet still be laying on the ground where it was dropped the night before?

#2. With the snow coming down like it was last night and this morning, what are the chances that if it is still where it dropped, it didn't get covered in 8 inches of snow…making it a wonderful present for one of those “kind” and “compassionate” people in 2013 when all this snow finally melts?

#3. Chip said he was looking in the “middle” of the street. Not the sidewalk or curbside…the middle. This is where cars, trucks, and buses usually travel. And its’ not a culdesac in the suburbs we are talking about here. It’s 91st street.

Chip, I hope you find your wallet, man. If you don’t, lets team up and go all Encyclopedia Brown/Hardy Boys on it and try to find it…you know, in 2013.

Welcome to the blog...test, test.

Test 1 2, Test 1 2...sibilance, sibilance.

We here at at PaperDoll have decided to start a blog, which all four of us can post to (and you can also comment on). I think its funny that WE think we are smart, funny, and witty enough that you all will read it. As if our humorous banter on stage and my side-splitting emails aren't enough for you. So I guess this is another part of our ultimate goal to entertain you on a variety of levels. Which is good, because we didn't want to start putting ads on your TiVO main screen just yet.

However, I have faith in my band, and can guarantee that if we can't make this interesting enough for you to read with just our thoughts and comments, we will most likely start making fun of each other and cursing a lot...which is always hilarious, especially since Teresa's "G" rated mouth doesn't know any curse words (see, it's already starting). So bookmark this site, check back often, and be sure to comment and make fun of us. I know I will. Let's get it on!